Not Doing What I Do

I’m a man of many hobbies. It has been said that I collect hobbies, the truth be told, that’s not far from true. Despite my physical limitations, many of my hobbies are hands-on, creative things; I’ve always loved to make or remake or restore things. But the last two years or so I’ve not been doing “what I do” nearly as much as I’d like to. In fact, adding writing (poetry/creative writing) to this blog was a way to give me a creative outlet I can go to when I can’t do what I am really wanting to work on.

These past couple of years have been a struggle for me health wise. I’ve had some pretty low lows and then started on an upswing after I found out about having diabetes. For a while I began to feel almost like me again. But it seems the struggle goes on – again.

I should say here this isn’t a “pity post” or meant to be a complaintfest (I think I just created a new word there!). I just need to express myself I guess. If you look, and you don’t need to feel compelled to, I am actually posting this in a brand new, just created category: Rambling. And I’m probably living up to that name here – and certainly will in the future I’m sure.

I’ve mentioned in the past in one or more posts that writing has always been a passion of mine, so I really am not complaining aabout doing it instead of another project. I’m opining more, really, about my frustration with my health swings. I told my son I feel like I’m caught up in some terrible whirlpool that I can’t free myself from: when I’m able and feel like accomplishing something I’m so far behind on normal chores/duties that I can’t do the fun, and potentially profitable (both monetarily and psychologically, things I’d really like to be doing. I don’t think I’ve had a string of more than three straight good days since winter began.

Now I’m dealing with this “other thing” that I’m not even sure what it is. I have a suspicion that my diet, somewhat poor of late, is playing a role in it; I suppose it’s back to the finger pricks and testing again to see what I can see there. But I have doubts that my recent decline in balance and mobility are associated with they, though I readily admit I could be wrong.

The old saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” may hold true here; I hope it’s the latter though of the options. I know God allows everything that happens for a reason. And I know whatever the reason it is ultimately for our (my) good. I pray the good arrives soon though.

Okay, rambling over – for now at least.